I think,  I'm getting stronger each day. When people call your name or when you suddenly appear in my mind, I don't feel that sad anymore. I mean, there's still pain. But, it doesn't hurt as much as last time. Maybe you're right. Times heal. But if I were give choices, I would want to stay with you. And just stay as friend. And be a pair after Form Five. But you are, so, bad, really really bad. You stop contacting me and thats not okay with me. And now, if you're not coming back, I'll study really hard and after Form Five, if you're not coming back, I will continue my study overseas and marry someone out there. Hehe. No kidding. Thats my dream. But let Your will be done, Lord. I know I can only plan. But You're the one who decides everything. I pray so that my future will be good for You say ask and it shall be given unto you. So I ask for a white good man, to be my man soon. Hehe. But of course, I know I shouldn't be thinking about this first. But this is just a plan, Lord. I want to marry someone who has no connection at all with Malaysian. Someone who doesn't even know my past. Who is willing to accept me for who I am. Hehe. Oh, one more, Lord Jesus Christ! Please please please let my aunt agrees about giving her youngest child to my family.  I need a brother.  I beg You Lord. I really want a brother. A sibling. You know me. You know my pain. You know the loneliness I feel. A little brother is what I want and I promise You Lord I will bring him to the right path. And pray to You Jesus Christ, our savior! Please, I just want a brother. Let me lead him. In Jesus' name I pray, amen:D

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