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confession #1
Wednesday, 4 May 2011 @ 08:41 | 0 Comment [s]
ha, this is like, the fifth or fourth blog of mine. hehe. i dont know. this is where i'm going to spit everything out since now i follow a lot of people i know in real life on Tumblr. today, after school. i waited at church, as usual. i saw Virender! and like always, my eyes will look around looking for kevin. i was hoping that i won't found him but i wanted to see him so bad. haa. only God knows how much i love and miss him. he was and still a big big part of everything i do. I know there will be no one means as much as him to me. i secretly still hoping for him to come back soon though. but he never replies my inbox anymore. this makes me feel really bad and down. wish he knows how much i want him back. sigh. i always wanted to be gorgeous, like, really really gorgeous one day. and that he will fall for me again because i have became such gorgeous girl. haaa. i know this is stupid. but thats the truth. i still want him back. i know no one else in this world will act like him, talk like him, sing like him, nice like him, awesome and amazing like him. i always thought that he will keeps his promise. promises like 'i wont leave you' 'i will stay' 'im gonna marry you' and all those sweet promises that makes me cry thinking about you breaking them at the end. haaa. and i hope, after form five, you will find me, find me first. i will be here for you. i will.. i love you, kevin robin, always have, always will. i admit in these three months, i fell in like with two other guys. i fell for them because they flirt with me, because this heart feels really lonely since you left. its never because i'm ready to have another one. its because my heart feels lonely. really really lonely. sometimes i even mistaken them as you. but at the end, no one stays. they are all gone. one by one, leaving me. true. i can name you them. but, forget it. no one cares anyway. haha. oh best friends. amek and kiqi. i think they both mean a lot a lot to me already. when someone broke their heart. i always tend to get angry and scold the people who broke their hard. i swear, i just want to let them know that i do care about them. its not like i really like scolding people anyways. and i always get the 'why are you so mad?' from them. i wish kiqi and amek know that i just want to show some concern. maybe this isn't a right way to show my concern or whatever, but this is my way. and if you really know me, this is it. this is my attitude. this is the real me. it really hurts everytime when you both say that to me. i'm mad because i care. but neither of you understand me. but no matter what happens, i still love both of you a whole lot (: i mean it. and i hope you both know. thats all. i feel really sleepy and i gotta wake up early for school tomorrow. history test. whee! wish me luck, no one. hahah :D bye x Labels: life |
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