This is probably one of the most complicated thing we will ever have in our life. With the possibility of our partner to cheat on us, dump us for whatsoever reasons, or leave us hanging after being together for some times. Lost and can't be found. Or, dumped us and never reply our text or calls or inbox or email anymore. Anything can happen. Yeah, anything. She can falls in love with someone else when you don't have much time to spend on her, or, you can fall in love with someone else when she's studying overseas or whatever it is. It is all depends on God. How He wants thing to be done. And that is why, when you love someone, never give them your whole heart. Never love them more than you were supposed to. Never care too much. Never love too much. Never think too much about them. Because in the end, if you did all those, you will get really hurt really bad.

I have always thought that I fell in love with the right one. The one that I've been looking for all these while. Yeah, I am talking about Kevin. Our relationship was so wonderful, I can tell. He was wonderful and I was too. Its true. We have been through so much together. Perhaps, more than we were supposed to face. We were strong. There were laughter, cry, fights and everything. But thats what makes us stronger than ever. Until one day, perhaps, he got tired of non stop fights, challenges and stuffs, he decided to give up. And he did. Of course I did begged him not to go. Like, every single day for the first month.

Every morning after I woke up from sleep, I checked my text and see if we really did broke up or was it just a dream. A nightmare. Unfortunately, its reality. Its the truth that I have to face. We broke up, thats reality. He's leaving, thats reality. He doesn't want it anymore, thats reality. These reality I have to face every single day until now.

Sometimes, I just don't feel like hearing anything from you anymore when I think about what you've done to me. You leave me a crumpled, broken heart and you don't even try to fix it at all. Even as a friend. And its still broken until now. I'm going to leave it for the time to heal it by itself.

It has been four months. And guess what?! I've stopped waiting. Not because I'm tired though. I just realized that its kinda useless to wait for you. I know, you're good looking, smart, sporty and all that and everyone like you. But what can I do if we were not meant to be? God wants it that way. We will be back together again if we were made for each other. If not, its goodbye then:)

I don't know why am I talking about us. It was supposed to be about relationship. Only relationship. Not us. Trololololol. Sorry :B Heee.

Okayyy okay, one thing I learnt from my previous relationship.
Freedom. I think I've been controlling him too very tight. I asked him not to be so close to any girls he met at church or elsewhere. Well, I mean, who am I to do so? I know I am his girlfriend, but everyone has to talk among each other. Yes? But actually, I did so because I don't want him to fall for someone else. I am so insecure. Very insecure because he is like, whole package guy. And look at me. What do I have? Brain? no. Look? no. I have nothing. Some girls out there, when they woke up, they look so cute while I look like a lion with messy hair. They have flat tummy when I have fats. They have smooth hair and I have tangled hair. They don't even have to starve! Because they are already skinny. But I am not. I am like, so far away from perfection. And it was a blessed for someone like him to fall for me. And I thank God for that.

So for my next relationship, I promise I will never do that again. He is free to talk to anyone he wants. He is free to have fun and not to stick around with me all the time. He can do whatsoever he wants as long as he's happy. As long as things work out and we love each other . Thats enough :))
xx

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